Turns out that the skill set required to navigate the tricky waters of romantic interaction wasn't in any book I had read or any class I had taken. There are endless questions that can spin around your head before, during and after a date, which is why we've compiled a list of some top dating tips for men. to flock to you. This guy definitely thought so Why Smart Guys Learn the Rules for Online Dating. You may think READ MORE PROFILE & PHOTOS TIPS.
So towards the end of med school, I started to read some pertinent books and hanging out with guys savvier than me in this dating realm. Slowly, I caught on that everything I knew about dating and women was wrong.
A few years later, right about when I was a pre-med advisor to Harvard undergraduates, I noticed that my friends and advisees were in a similar pickle.
Top dating tips for men (by a woman)
Here were smart, funny, good-looking guys surrounded by single women who were dying to be asked out - and not a whole lot was happening. See, I like smart people. I like to see smart people succeed -- even created a blog for smart people.
Why should anyone suffer like I did? Clues cure cluelessness, so I provided some clues for the smart boys. To all you who work at the likes of Google, Amazon, Microsoft, D. Shaw, McKinsey -- all the geeks, nerds, grad students, techies, hackers, engineers and gadgeteers.
It goes out to all the year old virgins, the still-unmarried year olds, and the already-divorced year olds who don't know what hit them. If there were a dating bible for the smart manthese would be its commandments: Don't just wait to get lucky - make stuff happen. As a teenager, I always wondered, when would it happen for me? When would some beautiful girl take me by the hand, look deep into my eyes, appreciate all my wonderful quirks and make out with me torridly?
You create your own luck. If you like a girl, talk to her and ask her out. You don't expect to ace an exam just by getting lucky, do you? So step up and put in some elbow grease.
Which brings us to Wimpiness may be the root of all the dating woes of smart men. So quit being chicken already. Ask her out again.
Set up the whole date: Don't be afraid to ask for what you want or to get righteously indignant when warranted. Worry less about offending people, more about having fun. Be comfortable in your own skin. You're a science geek?
You love computers, baseball cards, classical music, anime? You're a horny little devil? People only love us for who you are, not who we pretend to be. I know it's fashionable amidst the smart set to be dissatisfied with yourself and to keep striving for more, bigger, best.
However, women will tell you that there's nothing more attractive in a man than self-acceptance which is not the same as complacency. So start where you are, and keep on growing. When you accept yourself, the world accepts you. Accept the nonlinearity of women and romance. As guys, a lot of what we did in physics and math class was to try to straighten crooked stuff out. Model it with an equation. Do a linear regression. But you know what? They were all approximations anyway.
And most things in life don't follow linear equations - not your breath, not your heartbeat, not your Apple stock, and most certainly not women and romance. So don't come and tell me that women don't make sense to you. Unlike thermodynamics, women are not intuitively obvious. Sometimes she'll come to you when you ignore her and leave when you declare your undying love - deal with it.
Women have curves -- that's why we like 'em. Love is paradoxical and counterintuitive.
Top dating tips for men (by a woman) | The Soulmates Blog
Realize that and work with it, not against it. Quit trying to buy your way into a woman's favor. This is how it works in the movies: Of the two dozen reasons I can think for why this protocol sucks, here's one: Whatever you think of the word itself — whether or not you think it unfairly categorizes the male gender — it is a very real phenomenon.
Lots of women are tired of having men lecture at them about whatever. Men want to impress women. And it is often said to be a quality women want in men. So we get the unhelpful impulse to brandish it at random. Also, a main genre of dude conversation is the hours-long exchange of minutiae and trivia. Mansplaining is still, at best, tiring. Every woman I know well is fed up with being on the receiving end of male rambling.
After all, compare that to your friendly gym-rat type of guy. But now I will do that. You might not like it, though. My advice is this: Learn from the dumb dudes.
What I mean is, change up your game a little. Upon meeting a lovely woman, is your first instinct to say something profound about a giant novel you just read? Instead, ask her some questions about herself. Look for shared interests, or opinions, or just something you can both laugh about. Be warm and genuine first, and verbose later.
Why Do Beautiful, Smart Women Date Stupid Guys? - AskMen
I have done the same thing in the past, for what it's worth. Get that stuff locked down. Instead of judging, observe. A man of your intellect should know how valuable that is.
Think you could use some dating help, too?