Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy | HealthyPlace
This booklet aims to help you understand more about self-harm and what to Remember that health professionals, GPs and teachers are familiar with this .. / stirim.info [accessed on 11/12/15]. Stay up to date and show your support by following us on a variety of social channels. Having self-harm scars and dating can bring about very personal questions about your scars. Learn some ways to answer those questions. Why I Won't Hide My Cutting Scars Anymore Trigger Warning: This post contains a detailed account of self-harm in That guys wouldn't want to date me once they saw how cruel I'd been to myself as an act of If you struggle with self harm, seek help by reaching out to a trust adult like a relative, teacher.
In these cases, you may not feel the need to bring the issue up at all. If you do feel the need, or if your partner asks, you could say that the scars are from self-harm without going into detail. Another option is to make up another explanation for the scarswhich either the partner will believe or take as a cue that this is not something you would like to discuss.
Self-Harm Scars and Serious Relationships In a more serious relationship, or a relationship that seems as though it has the potential to be serious, you may feel that you want to talk to your partner about your self-harm scars more in-depth.
There is no easy to way to broach this subject, but it is for the wellbeing of your relationship. The good news, again, is that many people will respond with compassionand respect you for having the courage to speak with them about it.
Your partner only wants to know that you are okay now and that self-harm will not interfere with the relationship. How you approach the conversation is up to you, but it may be helpful to include the above concerns. All in all, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself and whatever decisions you make. Your scars will always be more noticeable to you than to anyone else, so your comfort should always come first. It is important that you do this when you feel ready to talk about it.
The truth about self-harm | Mental Health Foundation
Talking to someone is what is important. For young people used to carrying burdens on their own, it can be hard to receive support. Part of recovery is trusting people enough to let them help you. Talking to someone you trust can help you discover why you self-harm and help to find new ways to cope with difficulties . Finding out what makes you happy, sad, angry, isolated, vulnerable or strong can help you develop other ways of dealing with these feelings.
Counselling is a good way of exploring these thoughts and feelings and is available through your GP. These techniques find a release for the emotional pressure you feel without the need to harm. If you feel the need to harm yourself, try to give yourself a goal of getting through the next ten minutes without doing so. Write down thoughts and feelings that are distressing you; crumple the page up, rip it apart and throw them out as a way to let go of that thought.
Hit a pillow or cushion to vent your anger and frustration.
On Having and Seeing Self-Harm Scars
Have a good scream into a pillow or cushion. Take a minute and breathe or meditate. Go for a walk to take yourself away from triggers. Being in a public place gives you the time and space to reduce the urge to hurt yourself. Make lots of noise, either with a musical instrument or just banging on pots and pans.
Scribble on a large piece of paper with a red crayon or pen. Call a friend or family member and talk to them. Listen to music you like or watch a film you enjoy. Go online and look at self-help websites. Talk to someone about what is triggering you or seek help from a professional. But the most helpful to my recovery was the five minutes rule, where if you feel like you want to self-harm, you wait for five minutes before you do it, then see if you can go another five minutes, and so on till eventually the feeling that you need to is over.
However if you are self-harming it can be difficult to stop, especially when you feel distressed or upset. Wounds and injuries of any type can be dangerous and carry the risk of infection, which can be serious, so they need to be looked after. If you have serious injury, feel unwell or feel that you are going into shock fast breathing, racing heart, feeling faint or panicked you should seek help immediately.
If you find yourself in this situation, find a trusted adult or friend who can get you the medical attention you need. It is a huge step towards stopping when they begin to talk about it, because it means that they are starting to think about what might take its place eventually. Fill it with things that make you happy and calm, to help you to get through this feeling.
You could also include a list of things to do that make you calm when you are feeling triggered. Talk to someone When you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to a friend, family member or trusted adult.
Let them know what you are thinking. This can help relieve the pressure that you are feeling. Make a list of people you can talk to at these times and keep it somewhere safe. Knowing who you can talk to in times of crisis at 3am, weekends or when you are at school can make it easier to ask for help when you need it.
Add these to your safe box. This will remind you that you are not alone and there are people you can talk to when you need to. Avoid alcohol and drugs We often drink alcohol or take drugs to change our mood or to avoid our feelings. Some people drink to deal with fear or loneliness, but like self-harm the effect is only temporary and can end up making you feel worse. This changes how you think and feel, so can increase feelings of anxiety and depression.
When it wears off you can end up feeling worse because of the effects it has on your brain and your body.
Do something you enjoy Remember that there is more to you than self-harm. Do things that remind you of this and make you happy. Maybe this is a sport, or a hobby you like doing such as writing. Doing things that you enjoy and makes you feel happy, helps you look after your mental health. It helps to improve your self-esteem and can help you remember that you are important and have value.
You might put pressure on yourself to do things in a certain way, or feel that nothing you do is good enough. Try to not be so hard on yourself about not getting things perfect. I am worried about someone else If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it is important to know what to look out for and what to do. Below is some information to help you. Signs to Look Out For It can be difficult to tell whether someone is self-harming.
Here are some signs that might suggest someone could be self-harming : Withdrawal or isolation from everyday life. Signs of depression such as low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in anything.
Changes in activity and mood, e. Talking about self-harming or suicide. Abusing drugs or alcohol. Expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or loss of hope. Risk taking behaviour substance misuse, unprotected sexual acts.
On Having and Seeing Self-Harm Scars |
Signs of low self-esteem such as blaming themselves for any problems or saying they are not good enough. Unexplained cuts, bruises or marks.
Covering up all the time, when in hot weather. Being quieter than usual.
Also, there may be no warning signs at all. It is therefore important that if you suspect someone you know is self-harming, that you ask them openly and honestly. What to do if you are worried about someone If you are worried that someone you know is self-harming, it can be difficult to know what to do.
When you are aware there is an issue, it is important that you do not wait. Waiting and hoping they will come to you for help might lose valuable time in getting them the best support and treatment to help them . Be mindful that they might not feel ready or able to talk about their self-harm. It takes a lot of trust and courage to open up about self-harm. You might be the first person they have been able to talk to about this. Some tips for talking to someone about self-harm : Set plenty of time aside to talk to them where you will be free from interruption.
If possible, remove distractions such as computers and phones being on. This will allow you to give your full attention, letting them know you are there to listen to and support them.
The truth about self-harm
Instead talk about how they are feeling and what they are going through. Try not to react shocked or disgusted. If you believe they are in immediate danger or have injuries that need medical attention, you need to take action to make sure they are safe.