Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy | HealthyPlace
But generally it makes no odds to me, in fact I dated a girl with clear scars on her My girlfriend used to do it back when we were about 14/15 and i just said that theres . Self harm isn't just cutting and I think that is something that many people on ones cheeks, blunt trauma (i.e. punching or hitting), picking, scratching, etc. For many young people, self-injury occurs only a few times, but the behavior may cut, scratch, burn, abrade, or prick the skin repeatedly, often leaving scars. I have no problem dating someone that has scars from self harm. and this may sound odd, cause here to scratch her wrist, not very hard but enough to cause redness. . Of course I would date a girl who had self harm scars.
Think about how you might treat someone in a wheelchair: Someone you know has fresh cuts, scabs, or scars.
On Having and Seeing Self-Harm Scars
Arrange to speak with them privately. Let them know you saw their injuries and you are worried about their safety, and give them the chance to confide what is going on. If the person is a minor, let them know that you will need to inform a responsible adult in their life such as their parent or school guidance counselor.
Give them the chance to tell an adult on their own, and follow up to make sure they are receiving help. Offer to help them get in touch with a university counseling department or local mental health practice, if you are in a position to do so.
Self-harm scars on girls? - The Student Room
The person with scars is someone you know well and you are genuinely curious about their life experience. Before asking any questions, make sure you are actually open to hearing about their journey, which could be saddening, shocking, or confusing to you. Keep in mind that self-harm can be a very sensitive subject and even someone who is open about other aspects of their life may not want to talk about it. There are many quotes about how scars tell stories, but I dislike such quotes.
Scars exist on people, for thousands of different reasons, and it is up to people to tell the stories of their own scars, when and how and to whom they choose. The right answer for you will vary depending on a whole host of factors, including your self-harm history, where you are in self-harm recoveryand your partner's familiarity with self-harm.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you. You are in control of your own narrative and there is no obligation on your part to do things one way or the other.
If you are having trouble with answering questions about your self-harm scars and dating, however, here are some general guidelines that I find to be helpful. This does not mean that those people are bad people or not worth our time.
There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self-harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity.
Handling young patients who cut themselves
The good news is, a lot of people — especially casual partners — will not mind the scars too much. In these cases, you may not feel the need to bring the issue up at all. If you do feel the need, or if your partner asks, you could say that the scars are from self-harm without going into detail. Another option is to make up another explanation for the scarswhich either the partner will believe or take as a cue that this is not something you would like to discuss.