The Pros And Cons Of Dating An Older Man | Thought Catalog
Are you attracted to men who are 10 years older than you or more? Here are the pros and cons of dating older men. This photo or video has been removed from Instagram. So, I avoided dating until I was in my 20s and in college. Older. What are some experiences about dating a man who is 20 years older than the By my experience of being with a man 16 years older than me, there are many more advantages than disadvantages. .. Then children come into the picture. Are there any benefits for younger girls dating older men—other than to marry men who were a few years older - maybe by two to five years.
I hope this helps you decide whether the man you're dating is worth staying with, or if the downside is just too much to bear.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man
Con 1 - Older men can act condescending I don't necessarily think that older men do this on purpose, but I guess some do.
If that's true, then they probably did it on purpose when they were in their 20s as well. In that case, I'm not sure I would bother with them. I do, however, seem to take it in stride when an older man I'm dating does this. It generally comes out when they are trying to give you advice. I don't think they mean to be condescending, but when someone 10 years older than you or more is giving you advice about a job or another situation, at times he can be condescending.
Again, I tend not to take this personal, but some people do. If this is a pet-peeve of yours, then I would say that my advice would be to take a closer look and maybe even talk to him about it. If it seems like he's doing it often and it's just becoming too much, then maybe it's time to look for a new guy. Con 2 - They treat you like a child when you fight This is one of my biggest pet-peeves and it doesn't matter if I'm dating someone in their 20s, 30s, or 40s.
A man who treats me like a child when we fight and have an argument is not a man I want to be with. This is different than him being condescending. It's when he scolds you, shames you, or makes you feel like a small child when you have 'done something wrong', and that is how he will put it too.
It won't ever be his fault. Again, I don't care if the guy is older or not, but this is one of those things that I have no patience for. My advice would be to get out now. You deserve to be treated better than that! Con 3 - They can be controlling Older men can definitely be more controlling than younger men in their 20s or so. I think this comes from their experience and they may not mean this to be negative, as it is more like they are trying to protect you.
Advice For Dating Older Men: The Pros And Cons You Need To Know
Some men are very controlling in a way that is clearly abusive. I am dating a man right now who can be controlling at times, but I've noticed that he does it in a way that is more of trying to protect me. He wants me to be safe, and he wants me to be a strong and independent woman, but when I needed new tires, he made calls and took care of it. He took control and handled it. This is a way older men can take care of us, it's how they show they care.
If you are with an older man who is controlling about things like getting your tires changed and making sure you are safe and taken care of, that's one thing. However, if he is controlling about who you hang out with, what you spend your time doing, etc. Con 4 - Older men tend to be set in their ways Older men are known to be 'stuck in their ways'. Have you heard the saying: Well, from my experience, I can tell you this is definitely true.
Older men have their routine, and they know what they like and what they don't. Don't think that you will burst into his life and that he will stop everything and change for you.
If you don't like who he is, how he dresses, how he does his hair and what he watches on TV, then it may be safe to say that he isn't the guy for you. It is difficult to overlook the fact that we all age. When you are dating a man who is 10 years older than you, the day will come where he may actually look and act his age. It's tough to say when that will be, since some men age amazingly, but it happens to us all. Gravity will take over.
He won't have the endurance he once had. For some couples, this isn't an issue. However, it is a hard thing to ignore.
Before you go all in with an older man, you may want to think about this and think about if it will bother you 10 years from now, or even Con 6 - You won't share many first experiences A post shared by Megan Hess meganmfh on Nov 13, at There are endless 'firsts' to talk about, and for some this isn't a big deal.
But is it for you? Your first, and hopefully your only, wedding. It may be silly, but for some older men, these things have already happened. They don't want a big wedding because they've had one. They know what being engaged was like. He is entrenched in his life and you will be conforming to his way of living. Wise There is no substitution for experience, and your old geezer has had many more years to accumulate and learn from them. He has probably already made all the mistakes you can make and can see problems coming from a mile away.
He can help advise and guide you through whatever you might be traversing. Condescending Some men may not have actually gained wisdom over their years, only a sense that they know it all. This leads to condescension and a fatherly patronization that is distinctly unsexy. A wise man is the man who knows he knows nothing.
An older man's sperm usually cannot produce healthy babies. Physically he may not be able to do all the activities with your child that are expected of a father. Emotionally, he may not be ready to create competition for his kids from his previous first marriage. Cary Grant paired with much younger Audrey Hepburn in Charade 2 Source How to Make the Relationship Work The benefits of dating an older man are very few, and most fathers would have a hard time if their daughters began to date one.
To be fair, some couples have successfully lived together despite the age difference.
Here are some tips to make your marriage work: This is the number one game-changer in all relationships. Despite all your differences, it is the willingness to talk that keeps the flame burning bright. Talk to him, listen to him, share ideas. Discuss things you like and dislike. Talk about your future plans. That's one good thing about marrying an older man—he listens better than a younger one.
Read a lot so that you can discuss politics, entertainment, and sports.
What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man | PairedLife
That brings me to my next point. You must watch sports with him, if that's what he likes—and find it genuinely interesting. I know it's a stereotype that men like sports. Develop an interest in whatever it is that he likes.
- Advice For Dating Older Men: The Pros And Cons You Need To Know
- The Pros And Cons Of Dating An Older Man
- Relationship Advice: The Pros and Cons of the Dating Age Gap
Also, get him to do the same for what you love to do. Doing things together improves communication, which was my previous point. However, my next point is going to contradict this one.
Give each other space: Yes, you should find things to do together. But also spend time apart so that each of you can do the things the other doesn't like on your own. There's no point trying to force your man to go shopping with you, for example.
Let him catch up with a buddy over a beer while you go and spend his money. You will need to find the right balance between doing things together and being independent. If given a choice, would you like to have an affair with an older man?