The Hot and Cold Guy: Why Is He Hot and Cold (And What to Do About It)
Guys who blow hot and cold are playing a game and they want to get their way all the you on the backburner, they might reply, “But we weren't officially dating!. some vague excuse. So let's dive in and look at the real reasons some men run hot and cold. . Your guy has been playing the hot and cold game. You're afraid of losing What makes a woman girlfriend/wife potential? Do you know the. There is nothing more exasperating in the world of dating than a guy who They say he's sending mixed messages or playing games or is.
Men deal with stress and difficulties differently than most women.
The Real Truth About Why Some Men Run Hot And Cold
Men typically prefer to retreat and work things out internally rather than talking about it and seeking others out for comfort. The best thing you can do is just do nothing. Give him the space he needs and just focus on your own life. Men are not in a headspace to be compassionate and loving when they are stressed and off balance and it will be very hard for you not to take his behavior personally.
The Dating Game of Hot and Cold | HuffPost
But only if you respect his need for space! This is a huge mistake most women make. He wants to slow things down. So he settles into a more comfortable routine, and that often means he is slightly less engaged in the relationship. No one wants this to be the truth. At the root of his hot and cold behavior is a whopping dose of uncertainty.
The switch you feel in this scenario is really just him testing the waters to see if he wants to dive in. Your guy has been playing the hot and cold game. First things first, take an honest look at the relationship and try to figure out the reason for his behavior.
It will most likely be due to one of the three reasons listed above. No matter what the reason, the worst possible thing to do is chase after him. This instinct is activated by fear and will come across as desperate and needy. Just go with it. In this case, stop focusing on the relationship so much and instead focus on yourself and on enjoying your life and bring that positive energy into the relationship.
They don't need more time to figure out their emotions. They're not sorting out their last breakup, and they're not swamped at work. Although that may be your hope, it's not the case. And it's crafted for control. The phases of Hot and Cold: The "hot" phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition. Your partner has placed you firmly on their radar.
Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person. You quickly find yourself craving more of this delicious new feeling. This phase lures you into the hopes of the possibility of romance. Contact is reciprocal, time is made to see each other, and forward movement is evident.
There's an easy, open connection. The hot phase is designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral, where you'll later be harnessed. Then comes the "cold" phase. Your partner begins to pull away making you long for their previous attention. Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text.
You wonder what happened and begin to question every move you made. Without realizing it, you've submitted to their need for emotional and psychological control. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior. Each step is a phase, and each phase has a cycle. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner's reactions are not. Simply put, when you pull away, they'll re-engage you. When you advance, they'll pull away.
5 Signs His Hot And Cold Behavior Means He Doesn’t Want To Be With You | Thought Catalog
After a cycle or two of this routine you'll be so confused you won't know which way to move. The pattern repeats itself for as long as you're willing to play this game. The beautiful truth is that this has nothing to do with you. You're not at fault. There's nothing you did, or didn't do, that's causing this.
Don't let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise. Just notice where you are in the cycle and don't let it disempower you. Understanding what comes next puts you back in control of your own reactions. There's a marked difference between a relationship hiccup and the game of hot and cold. Relationship hiccups occur because your partner is emotionally invested, but scared.
There's open communication about their fear.
Once stated, the hot phase normally reboots and continues with forward movement. A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don't result in forward movement.
The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. It's a way to feel love without getting hurt. But the partner, who's committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love. They'll toy at it, dipping their toes in and out of the water without ever getting wet. The cycles of hot and cold may make you feel like the powerless one.